Relationship Advice • How To Get a Relationship…
June 16, 2019
Relationship experts have long recognized that in most relationships there is a giver and a taker.
As long as the balance isn’t too skewed, this type of arrangement works just fine, as some people truly prefer to feel needed and like to give more than they get. It is when it becomes totally one sided, with one party always on the giving side, that a relationship, and the parties in it, will suffer.
How can you tell if your relationship is mutual? Communication is a key issue here, and if you feel that you cannot address problems that are niggling at you, then your partner is probably not holding his side of the relationship up.
Be the Giver, If It Gives You Joy in Return
It seems fairly natural for most women to automatically take on most of the burden of running the household; some people even believe it is in a woman’s genetic makeup. But if you arrive home exhausted after a hard day’s work and your partner still expects you to prepare dinner, do the cleanup and get the laundry and other chores done while he watches T. V., it is surely time to address balance. Oh, yes, I know, there are plenty of women who insist they have to do it, because he doesn’t do it right, and I have one thing to say to them: «Shut up!»
If you enjoy cooking and cleaning, take your joy from it and stop complaining about it all the while you are preventing anyone from lightening your load. You are really the one causing the unbalance in this relationship. If your partner praises your cooking and always boasts about how beautifully you keep the house, that is also a certain form of balance.
Be Close, But Give Each Other Space
The same concept applies to your social life. If you like theaters and museums, and he prefers to go to a baseball game, but each gives a little and you sit out the game once in a while and he takes you to a show once in a while, that is true mutual balance. There are times when he will want to tailgate with the guys at the football game and you prefer to go to the museum luncheon with the girls. If, however, you are always going your own separate ways, if the only time he does go out is without you, you definitely have a problem.
There is even an unhealthy aspect of a relationship where the partners are «joined at the hip», doing everything together and never apart from one another. We all need our own space and relationships, and becoming too insular in your own private world makes social adjustment to others difficult.
Relationships have to be built on give and take, and as we said, many times there is not a perfect balance between how much is given and taken on each side of the relationship. But kind words and flowers can often balance the cooking and the cleaning. Not if the cooker/cleaner feels resentful, however; it has to be supported by mutual acceptance and respect.
A good relationship certainly is built on compromise and of course a great deal of give and take on both sides. If you are in a relationship tight spot, and need an advice how to save your relationship, feel free to do a people search and lookup for an expert love advice from experienced couples out there.